


The Big Goodbye

by mattzerella_sticks



Series: Season 14 Inspired [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 14x12 coda, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Cute Dean Winchester, Doctor Kink, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Fluff and Smut, Flustered Dean Winchester, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Post 14x12, Prophet and Loss, Sweet Castiel (Supernatural), Sweet Castiel/Dean Winchester, The Turning Point, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 07:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17618483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattzerella_sticks/pseuds/mattzerella_sticks
Summary: Coda to 14x12 "Prophet and Loss"Castiel still had an itch he needed to scratch, and while Sam's speech got through to Dean, there was still hesitance there. That a part of him would not let go of the box even if he believed in his family. Since he feels like their time together was always cut short, Cas decides he will say what he needs to say - what he wanted to say for the longest time. And be the turning point that helps get Dean to fully commit.





	The Big Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So... "Turning Point"
> 
> I mean maybe that scene was there but they cut it so Nick could have more screentime... it's like when they heard us say "we want the man and the angel together!" they thought we meant Nick and Lucifer... le sigh.
> 
> Anyway here's what should have happened, that is DEFINITELY not safe for kids and defies EVERYTHING!!

            Castiel slammed Dean up against the wall of his bedroom. He waited for this moment long enough, the outside world interrupting in the worst moments. Antonio, Donatello, even Sam though he hadn’t meant it, startling him; keeping him from pouncing. But now, locked away in his hunter’s den, there was no one who could have stopped him. He could let drip all the gasoline he held back then set it ablaze with one action. “I have a few words for you, Dean Winchester.”

            Dean gulped, darting down the expanse of Castiel’s face before meeting his gaze again. Castiel has studied Dean’s eyes for years, learned the hidden emotions that he believed were reflections of the ones he felt. The feelings he doubted the names of for so long, only assured in his confidence when the end seemed near, were plain for him to see. Jumping like sparks off exposed wiring, ready to shock them both.

            “Y’know, I said I wouldn’t do it, Cas,” he whispered; voice heavy and rough, “Sam punched me already… I think I have enough bruises for the night.”

            “I don’t think so,” Castiel said, leaning closer, “But then again, I don’t feel like punching you either.”

            “…Then what are you going to do?”

            “I’m going to _talk_ , and you’re going to _listen_.”

            “Well then maybe we can get a bit more comfortable – _ngh_!”

            Castiel slipped a knee between Dean’s open legs, grinning at the blush he worked onto his hunter’s face. “No,” he told him, “I need your undivided attention. This has been something we’ve put off for far too long.”

            “…I’ve only had this plan for less than a week.”

            “I _know_.”

            Dean frowned, sighing. “All right, you’ve come this far, then. Out with it.”

            Castiel pulled back, squinting at Dean. He could tell his hunter wanted to look away, his neck twitching like a cornered animal. Dean’s body hummed with all the pent-up energy of a circuit cut from completion. Yet he remained where he was, staring at Castiel like the years between their first meeting and now were nothing but days; time having folded over on itself like a piece of paper. That wasn’t the case. They can’t go back. Castiel doesn’t want to go back. He wants to move forward _with_ Dean, _alongside_ Dean – into the future.

            “I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me –“

            “I was going to tell you –“

            “I had to find out from _Sam_ –“

            “I was figuring out how to say goodbye –“

            “We’ve said goodbye all the time, in worst situations… how could it be any different?”

            “Because I…” Dean muttered, face fully flushed, “Because all the other times I got them wrong – I _did_ them… wrong.”

            Castiel smiled, one hand loosening on his jacket to slide up the side of his face. He stroked a thumb across his cheek, scruff a comforting sensation. “So did I,” he said, “Which was why after Sam told me I… I went to work. I searched and referenced everything I could to save you from your fate. But I admit I wasn’t… only preoccupied with that. My biggest fear was that there _would_ be nothing in all the books and guides the Letters collected.”

            “It still doesn’t seem like there is –“

            “Hush,” Castiel commanded, “I’m not done.” He gripped at Dean’s jaw, applying a light pressure that made stars burst before the green backdrop in his eyes. “When I am, _then_ you can speak… Okay?” Dean nodded. “Good… I figured that, where Sam failed maybe _I_ could succeed. Convince you that there was still some _spark_ of hope left that we could nurture and grow. I meant it then and I mean it _now_.”

            “But…” Castiel chuckled, “You… you’re so _stubborn_. Running away every chance I tried to speak, each time forcing me to re-write the script I prepared for you. When we got those few seconds alone in the care facility I’ll admit to tossing all my notes out the window – your very presence setting my grace on fire with the overwhelming _need_ to make you see reason. And then I…” He trailed off, tongue darting across his lips.

            Dean followed their path. His mouth parted, as if to speak, only nothing came out. Castiel could tell he remembered what was asked of him, and didn’t want to break the rules. Chills rocketed up his spine, and Castiel growled out a ragged breath. “I learned a lot from you Dean,” Castiel confessed, “You taught me to defy fate… that following my heart is better than following orders, even if it led to a few mistakes… and one very, _very_ important thing.” He skewed his head to the side. “You can ask what it was.”

            “What was it?” Dean rushed out.

            “That we’re afforded so few things in this life, that we must make the most of our nights – as if they were our _last_ ,” Castiel told him, “And if you truly believed this was going to be our _final_ goodbye… I wanted it to be _big_.”

            Then Castiel kissed him, doing what he wanted to do earlier in the night, what he dreamed of for so long. Dean tasted of stale beer and grape Jell-O, the mingling flavors only driving him further into madness. They reminded him of the beauty in the ordinary, of humanity, and the man who set the bar for all others that now melted in his embrace. Dean’s arms wrapped tight around his waist, tugging him closer for contact.

            “Oh yeah,” he panted, Castiel sliding down to nibble at his neck, “This is just what you ordered, Dr. Novak.”

            “Funny,” Castiel said, “I thought you would prefer cowboys…”

            “Cowboys, doctors… if you had kept the white coat and stepped into some cowboy boots this would have been the _perfect_ send-off.”

            “I find that the grandest gestures are somehow the most simple and…” he traced a hand down his thigh, “ _intimate_.”

            Dean shivered at the touch, leg hitching up and over Castiel’s hip. “I don’t get it though,” he continued as Castiel laved at his collar, “Why now? Why make this your goodbye?”

            He slowed his affection. Tearing away from the bruise he worked onto Dean’s skin, he returned his attention to his hunter’s face. He looked nervous, like he stood on the edge of a cliff, staring into a long and unknown fall. Castiel grabbed for Dean’s hand, curling his fingers around it possessively. “Because sometimes a goodbye isn’t what you think,” Castiel explained, “It could be a closing of an old way of life – cleansing of a toxic way of thinking. My goodbye wasn’t to you but _for_ you. To show that I am done thinking I don’t deserve this, that _we_ can’t have something _beautiful_. I… I had hoped the expression of my… _care_ towards you would inspire you to not go through with it – give you something to _cling_ to.”

            “Cas…”

            “You said earlier, that if I was a good friend I would let you do this?” Cas grinned, an easy stretch of his lips, “Well… that’s okay if I’m not. Because I don’t want to be your friend– it’s not enough. I want us to be _more_.”

            His words had an affect on Dean. From the way his lips trembled, to the glossy sheen of his eyes. He looked gorgeous to Castiel like this, reminding him of the many wonders across the Earth. Overcome with the sensations and feelings Castiel evoked, Dean seemed as pure and untainted as nature itself. Castiel wiped away a stray tear that slipped past.

            “I – um… I never thought…” Dean choked back a sob, laughing. “I didn’t realize what this was for a… for a long time. Got so used to denying myself things, saying it was good for _everyone_ …” He squeezed Castiel’s hand, his other rubbing at his cheek. “I… I want to say yes. There’s nothing I want more than for us to… But…”

            “ _Dean_ ,” Castiel said, “we still have a chance. _Believe_ in the people who believe in you – that good things can still _happen_ for us.”

            Dean chuckled again. “You really know what to say… maybe that’s why I was avoiding you until the end. Could sense that whatever you were going to lay down was going to make it hard for me to walk away from.”

            “I can be _very_ persuasive,” Castiel told him, “especially to get what I want. And that’s to wipe away any doubt that we’ll need to use that crazy plan of yours.”

            “…It’s in the book –“

            “Enough talk of _books_ ,” Castiel growled, pressing against Dean’s crotch. “I’m going to fuck you, and when I’m done you’ll be too _wrung out_ to be pessimistic about the future.”

            “That’s so sweet Cas… you gonna turn down the covers and light a couple of candles by the bed, too?”

            “…Who said anything about using the _bed_?”

            Castiel flipped him over, knocking the air out of him. He latched onto his neck with his lips once more, teeth biting at the sensitive spot he already marked. His fingers sped to his belt, unbuckling it along with his pants’ button.

            Dean enjoyed every second of Castiel’s ministrations. As each article of clothing fell away, he was met with a groan, cry, or outburst of heady jubilance. His hunter squirmed, trying to reach out. But every attempt was met with a disapproving snarl. “No,” Castiel told him, “no moving until I tell you.”

            He focused on working Dean into a fierce ecstasy he could never recover from. Not burdened by the limits of physicality, Castiel extended his grace out to Dean to increase his sensitivity. So that each brush of his fingers across skin was like a string of wildfires blazing in the summer heat. And his kisses stung with the force of the strongest lightning storms.

            By the time they finished, Dean was slumped over on Castiel’s chest, their naked bodies wrapped in each other. Halfway into Dean’s second orgasm, he repositioned him so that he could lift his hunter into his arms. By his third, Castiel was inside of him.

            Castiel gently pet Dean’s head, murmuring praise into his ear, showering him with as many compliments he could weave together. Dean traced shapes into Castiel’s back, cheek pressed up against his shoulder.

            “Y’know,” Dean said, “I… I’m having a hard time remembering _anything_ before you kissed me.”

            “Is that a bad thing?”

            Dean leaned back; his face softer than it had looked in years. He shook his head, dropping it back down, and hiding his smile in Castiel’s neck. He felt Dean's heart beat thunderously against his chest, making him wish he had one of his own so they could match. Instead, he spread his grace over Dean, covering them both in its warmth.

            They stayed like that for the entire night.

**Author's Note:**

> Did ya like? Made me feel better. Anyway, let me know! Drop a kudos/comment down below!


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